I hate hippies

So before I say anything here, let's get something clear. I can't stand hippies. For years I have been convinced that all my hippie friends were nuts. Through high school, college, even my immediate family somehow I have always found myself allowing these smelly tree huggers into my life. I have heard all the lectures about organically grown food products and laughed at the thought of paying more money for meat that had been "grass fed" or "free range". Meat is f'in meat right? And who gives a shit where my damn tomatoes where grown? If I ball it up , stick it on the grill and melt some AMERICAN cheese on it then it's a damn cheeseburger. Just because I didn't run it over to kill it with my Chevy doesn't make it any less real. Am I right?

Well, I have lost my marbles. I am jumping on the bandwagon and getting down with that hippie dippie mumbo jumbo. The deal is that some folks I have met through crossfit have managed to finally break me. They have convinced me that diet (read fuel for my sweet pythons) is actually really important. I make no claims that my crossfit friends are any less whacko then my hippie friends. In fact, though I can't recall smelling patchouli at the gym, I think there is a good chance some of these crossfit folks are hippies too.

So what made a good diet? The hippies of the crossfit variety think it's Paleo (eating like a cave man). The folks over at http://whole9life.com have designed a magical brainwashing program that is said to reset your brain and your relationship with food in 30 days. Basically you go hardcore, 100% caveman on your diet for 30 days. Eating only real, natural food. They call this mind fuck the Whole30.

Some people I have met through crossfit have had some pretty awesome results in these 30 days. The whole9life.com crowd claims the whole30 is not about weight loss. They make it clear that it is about reseting your "mind and body" back to the way it was designed to process food. But let's be honest, there is no way I would give up Silver Bullets, Pizza and Mexican food for a month if I didn't expect some results. The before/after shit I have seen on real people I have met is pretty wild. Makes a guy think seriously about giving these hippies a chance.

I am married with one kid and another on the way. There is no reason on earth I need to worry about a little tube around the waste. That said, my OCD has taken over. My goal is to cut the last 10lbs of fat and eating like a damn hippie caveman for a month isn't going to kill me.

So here goes nothing, Day 1 of the whole30.

Time to get Serious

Sometime in January 2009 I went to the doctor for a severe pain in my big toe. It was awful, one of the most painful experiences I have had. This visit was a turning point in my life from the minute the nurse called me from the waiting room.

First up was the old weigh in. As a kid, I looked forward to the nurse recording my height and weight during a visit to the doc. I saw gains as progress and was encouraged that I continued to grow. This weigh in was embarrassing. I can't remember the exact number but it was somewhere around 250lb. This weight was ridiculous. I knew I was getting big but in college I weighed about 180. I was 70lbs overweight! Sitting in the exam room waiting for thedoc was depressing, I couldn't believe that I had let me self go like this, and my fucking toe hurt.

Then the fun began, the friendly-family doctor came in for a quick exam followed by a blood test. Within the hour the doctor had confirmed what Google told me the night before. I have gout, a type of inflammatory arthritis common in overweight old guys. Sweet, I am 30 years old and 250lbs, a fucking overweight old guy. As if I needed it, the doctor thought it would be good to give me a lecture on how I should start thinking seriously about my health. He made it clear that my "weight was becoming a real issue". Thanks doc.


The lecture was more then just embarrassing. It was kind of an eye opener. I was 30 years old with an awesome little son. I want to be able to teach him to snowboard, play baseball and cause all kinds of trouble. This is far beyond vanity or self esteem, I need to be Dad.

By May 2009 I convinced myself that I needed to take action and began to work out. My buddy Mike D and I got memberships to Snap Fitness and got started. We soon realized we had no clue what we were doing and hired a trainer. Following Mike's lead, I started to count calories and lost some serious weight. Fast forward to June 2010 I was 200lbs and completed a life long goal of running a marathon. I completed Grandma's marathon in Duluth in 4 hours and 57 minutes. That's right, I lost about 50lbs in a year through a truly ground breaking concept. I ate less and worked more.

Today, December 23rd 2010, I am in pretty decent shape. I am weighing in at about 195 and stronger then I was in college. In August I moved to Chicago and discovered crossfit. Those close to me have certainly heard a beer enhanced rant about how rad crossfit is. The attentive reader might notice that I have only lost about 5lbs since the marathon 6 months ago. I believe that I have put on some muscle mass but I still have a nice gut.

Enter this blog. I have worked pretty damn hard to get where I am today. Doing crossfit 3-4 days a week, running 1-2 days a week and eating much better. I look better, I feel better and I am pretty happy with the results. While I have added some sweet pipes, I still rock a pretty tough tube around the waist. Not the end of the world, I am married and my wife couldn't care less. But the OCD in me has decided it is time to get serious. I am going to get f'in ripped before summer time. For no other reason then just to see if it's possible. Can I go from 250lb old guy to six pack guy in 2 years?

Here are my goals:
- Post to this blog 2-3 times a week
- Complete Whole30
- Lose the tube
- Run Grandmas in 4:30 or less
- Get Crossfit Level 1 Certified